No one asked you…

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”

“

I was on my way to the yard today to sell a book to a fellow HU student when I saw my friend Courtney*. She big chopped over the summer and was wearing her TWA. I saw her, greeted her, and told her I liked her hair. Which was the truth. My friends saw her, greeted her, and kept it pushing. We got about 10 feet from Courtney and all of a sudden:

Friend #1: She looked better with long hair.

Friend #2: Yeah, she did.

Friend #1: I’m just saying, any hairstyle would have looked better than that one.

Me: Damn, I’m glad y’all didn’t say that in front of her. I’m also glad I didn’t cut my hair and show ya’ll.

Do you realize how hard it is for girls to wear their short natural hair and not care what others think? Speaking from experience I can say that before I found the confidence in myself, I would have rather worn an ugly weave than my TWA. Newly natural girls don’t want to hear that they would have looked better if they kept their damaged, over processes, breaking, thin hair.

Before I finally said to myself “Your opinions don’t matter.” “You’re going to talk about me anyway.” and “No one asked you, so shut the hell up” I was self-conscious.

Maybe I’m sympathetic because I understand what she went through, or even what she still might be going through. But it’s just sad, because on this campus if you aren’t natural you are the minority. It’s also sad, because the tables can be turned to easily. Oh trust and believe, no one is invincible and everyone has a weak spot.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

It’s Our Very First Anniversary

I’m OFFICIALLY 1 year natural =]

Things I’ve Learned: Since becoming a Natural

Water is your friend
Heat isn’t always bad
Co-washing is better than shampoo
Being a conditioner junky is normal
If you style your hair well..people will ALWAYS compliment you
Doing your own hair isn’t that bad
Protective styling keeps my hands out of my head
Grease is the devil
Natural oils are your saviors
Don’t let everyone touch your hair
Don’t tie the headband too tight [you think its easy, but it's not]

My top 5 favorite things about being NATURAL:
1. “Can I touch your hair?” I love this question. No I don’t crave attention, but you know I’m in the room just by looking at my little afro puff. I’m selective with this, not everyone can put their hands in my hair.

2. I can use the “white girl” products on my hair, and they actually work. When I was a permie I always had to use what my stylist had, and she would always try to hide the labels too. The closest thing to a “white girl” product she used on my head was Tresemme. But now that I’m my own stylist, sometimes, I get to use whatever I please. Try telling a licensed beautician to switch shampoos & conditioners…impossible!

3. No bad hair days. When you’re stylist is you then you should always have your hair done. I don’t care if your just refreshing your puff everyday (Me) you should never look rough. The beauty of knowing how to do different styles with natural hair is that it’s free and you can do your hair as often as you want.

4. No breakage or less breakage. For me it’s no breakage. I haven’t experienced any breakage since deciding to go natural and I love it. It’s one less thing I have to stress about, and that makes me a healthier person.

5. People have a newfound level of respect for me. Whenever people see me they tell me that I’m patient for going through the whole natural hair process. They tell me they couldn’t do it and they respect me even more. I love the fact that I have gained more respect by doing almost nothing. I wore weave throughout my whole transition, so it was kind of easy for me. But I’ll take the respect, because respect isn’t something that is given to just to be given

What are your top 5 favorite things about being natural?

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

My Natural Experience

Hello faithful readers!!!! I know..my blog game has been slipping, but its okay because I’m back! I have to tell you about my experience with my hair.

I wore my hair out in public for the first time on Monday and I have been receiving nothing but positive feedback! I love it, especially when people ask me if they can touch it. Its growing nicely, and I’m working on a hair care routine. It is a lot of work compared to my older hair care routine though. I always wondered how White people could use products EVERY day. I thought “Wouldnt that be expensive?” But I find myself doing the same thing, minus the wash and condition step. But if that’s what it takes for me to get long healthy hair then I don’t mind.

And her come the pics

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Today was an awesome day.

Yes I finally wore my natural hair out, and I got some compliments too!

You want to see more pics of me and my puff? click here

Steps to achieve this look:

-Co-wash with your conditioner of choice
-Use a rinse out conditioner
-Blow out hair
-Braid hair to stretch it even more
-Put none of your frizzness around your edges to decrease frizz
-Get gel, jam, etc to slick the hair down
-Get stocking, shoestring, or head band.

*If you want to try the stocking or shoestring technique look here

Hope it helps!!

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

11 Months Natural!

I love you hair! Keep growing and being fabulous!!! Your my second child and I don’t want you to feel any less important than my blog, because I love you both equally. Keep making me proud.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Natural Hair BS

I too was a believer of the “natural hair doesn’t look right with…” bullshit. But as you can see I put was. It all start after my failed twist out. I decided to do a twist out with what little hair I do have, but it didn’t turn out too good. So I decided to just used my twists as sections for my blowout. I did the blow out and I was delighted to see that my fro had grown. I squealed..I was too happy. But then I did my usual scalp and strand routine and decided to put it in a puff.

and I love my puff too.

But then I got nervous. Not about my hair, but about my clothes.
“Am I going to look cute?”
“Will it look like before?”
“My outfits won’t look the same”
“If I lock my hair, maybe then it’ll look more acceptable?”
“I’m not going look sexy anymore.”

Yes, these questions honestly came across my mind. So I decided to try on my clothes and see the difference. Guess what? I still looked cute, sexy, professional, etc. I can’t believe I had been so ignorant to think that I would stop looking cute because of my hair. My natural hair. Not some cheap lookin wig or some dyed mess. The natural hair that has grown out of my head for 20..almost 21..years. Can’t believe I fell for the hype, but I’ll mark it down as a lesson learned.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

May 5, 2010

*Blown out
*Wild growth oil (scalp)
*Africa’s Best oil
*Jam for the slick back

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

February 10, 2010

*Freshly washed with sealed ends*

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

9th and 10th Month Being Natural!!!!

I have come a long way. I am so proud of myself. Never in my life did I think I could stop perming my hair, but I did it! I co-washed and sealed last night so my hair could be clean for its birthday…thats right…I care that much. My hair was blown out and straightened in that pic..so yea its a fake fro lol.
Throughout my journey I have loved every single moment of it, even the not so easy times. Thank you 4b hair =].

(Lol at my black power pic)

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Dear Summer,

This summer might be different. I hope it is. I pray it is. I was bored and broke last summer. That means I was in the house on the computer, eating, watching the idiot box, or sleeping. While I did cherish that wonderful sleep, I can’t be idle like I was last summer. I mean ill be working and going to school (yay!), but that can’t be my life. That’s high school all over again.

I really don’t want to plan my summer, because where’s the excitement in that? But I do know what I want to do. (Ah yes! Another list)

-Go to Cafe Grumpy (Chelsea, NY)
-Go to Van Gogh’s Ear (Union, NJ)
-Get another tattoo
-Go to a play
-Build my portfolio
-Have a huge waterfight (lol)
-Wear my natural hair atleast once
-Meet Inka Essenhigh (i can dream)
-Go to a film festival (not likely)

What do you think? Not that I actually care, just being polite.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle