Fire

I have no idea why I decided to call him at 4:50 am this morning. It wasn’t due to a moment of weakness. You know, when your heart aches and wants so desperately to hear that voice that makes you feel comfortable. Nope. I just called. And it broke my heart to know that he could have died last week. His place caught on fire. He was at work though. My heart SANK. Him explaining this story hurt worse than when he told me “I don’t feel the same way…I’m sorry.” I would have rather heard those words.

I never realized how much I cared for him. I mean, I knew I loved him, but to have him out my life by way of d—h is not what I want. No matter how many times I told him I wanted him gone.

So, I’ve ultimately come to the conclusion to stop burning bridges with people I care about. My heart is still aching…thinking about the possibility of his permanent absence.

Something buoyant.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Thinking…bitch Part II

Thinking. Yet again. About my insecurities. Zeus. School. Money. Love. Love. Love. Judgment. The kids. My health. My weight. Sex. Pain. Tears and why I still have some left. The Professor. Rejection. Excitement. Danger. You. Me. US. Your fingers. Poetry. Spoken word. Drugs. Alcohol. More alcohol. “friends”. My father. My mother. Growing up. Security. Random as all hell. Death. Fear. Hate. 11:11 and how I always make it, and dedicate it to you with a *4hk&h*. New Love. Where to find it. My past. My present. Who’s going to be crazy enough to take a chance on me? 21. SAGITTARIUS. Solitude. Suicide. TWLOHA. I’m just thinking. Just thinking.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Tragic…but…

http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/witness-questioned-in-clark-130043.html

My only question is: Why was she outside at 12:30 am in the middle of the week?

Sound off.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle’

Can you forgive and forget/fake fam..

“i love you..and it was only once..or twice”

I was raised to believe that family is first then there’s everything else. Death Before Dishonor [possible tattoo]. I have no tolerance for cheating..point blank. The shit is unacceptable to ME. If you wanna cheat im not gon call you a whore and all that other bullshit cuz who the fuck am i??
ANYWAY..

I assumed [assumption is the lowest form of knowledge] that since i was raised this way that everyone in the family had the same beliefs..like i said, assumption is the lowest form of knowledge…but that is hardly the case. Now I have no problem with accepting kids that have been adopted into the family..in my eyes your blood now. I love my adopted cousins and my “half cousin” Karisma..ask any real friend..me n Karisma are closer than most sisters. But moving on to more important things..

My grandfather stepped out on my Grandmother and had about 5 illigitimate children. It bothered me becuase I have no toleration for cheating, but that fact that you cheated on my Grandmother makes this situation 10x worse. The thing is…they came to the house while I was at school all happy and shit for a cookout. My Grandmother was salty [of course] and didnt want to hug them..she didnt come out and say it, but she her body language speaks for her. My mother couldnt understand why she wouldnt want to hug them. I did..and i dont wanna fuckin meet them. Yall not family to me..everybody else dont care, but fuck that. “They thought she was the otha woman” Dont insult my intelligence..how was my Grandmother the other woman when he lived with her? Dont sit and here and tell me that your homewrecking ass mother was that oblivious to the fact that he didnt live there. I dont call them my uncles..nor will I ever call them uncles. I laugh when i say it to keep my anger from surfacing. Dont fucking call me your niece, dont touch me, & dont inquire about me. Your kids? Those are not my little cousins. The fact that my father keeps a picture of those lil kids in his planner next to my picture bothers me so much. I dont want to meet them. I know my grandfather is no where near innocent at all and i will never forgive him for being one of the males in my life that has caused me to shed a tear. Family is the most important thing to me, and for someone to jeopardize a family for his dick is so selfish. I wish i wouldve never known about these illigitimate beings that are temporarily in the family. My father keeps telling me “They have his blood running through their veins” That means NOTHING. They were mistakes and thats all they will be viewed as.

Can you forgive and forget when this kind of situation occurs? Cuz i damn sure cant..

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle’