HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello 2011 I’ve been waiting for you…just to see what new wonders you have in store. Please don’t disappoint. Well, while you work on that let me give my readers a small taste of what to expect.

Welcome back readers! Did you miss me? I missed you too. So, last year was about growth (if you read my last post you would know that) but this year is going to be about…hell if I know. I’m honestly just waiting for the new adventures that lie ahead of me. Maybe I’ll know the theme as I’m entering 2012. Anywho! I’m working on a few things this year. A small list you say? Of course.

1. I’m writing a book

I started writing a book before, but I lost interest in it. Not writing, but the direction of the content. It was turning into one of those ghetto love books, and I can’t stand to read those anymore. I can tell you that majority of the book will be fiction, but parts of it will be non-fiction drawn from my own life experiences. I’m getting excited just thinking about it! (And yes, I want to eventually get it published)

2. Internship

I’m going to try to obtain an internship during the semester. I’m not the happiest with my GPA and I feel like it would help my transcripts look better, and I think it would be a great experience. Wow. I sound like I’m in an interview.

3. New Adventures

I’m taking trips to everywhere! I feel like my college experience hasn’t been fulfilled, due to my lack of trips and adventures, that changes this year. I’ll put pictures up don’t worry =]

I don’t want to give y’all too much! I want to give my wonderful readers something to look forward to. And with that being said…

Have a wonderful New Year and I hope you’ll stick around for more posts!

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Update…

Two finals left and I can’t wait to get out of here for winter break.

(can yall tell by all the Howard gear that this pic is from my freshman year?)

Did I mention I turn 21 in 7 days? Chaos is bound to ensue.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

What went wrong?

Why is it that when a female gets pregnant at a young age everyone throws all their despair, grief, sympathy, and negativity upon her. True, she’s going to have a hard time at some point. But all parents reach a point where they have to take a step back and really brainstorm, whether financially or otherwise. But when a young female gets pregnant some people act like its just the end of her damn life! People hand her all types of nooses and bottles of pills, because clearly she should just off herself.

But when a guy impregnates a girl at a young age its like “oh fa real?” It’s not as big a deal when a guy breaks it to his parents. He doesn’t have to start crying or apologizing or anything like that, and it’s not fair.

Society is so backwards and it drives me insane. They put all these pressures on females, but want to give us less power, pay, and respect. Go figure. A young girl gets pregnant and all of a sudden its “It was only a matter of time.” But there are less males in college. Again…go figure.

Does anyone else understand this logic?

I’m sick of these double-standards, especially when women are working toward a goal. I mean, who goes to college to get a degree just to work at CVS. Not knocking the fact that they have a job, but you don’t need a degree for CVS. But this is just a minor problem when compared to how this generation is being raised. I’m only twenty and I can’t believe some of the things that are going on.

How do you fix it? What has to be done? You can’t rely on the parents these days, some are just as foolish as the kids. It’s a never ending cycle, but what has to be done to break it?

Just thinking.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

The Fuck Buddy

This is my third time trying to write this by the way.

Okay, so me and Gabbi have this inside joke.

“But if I was a hoe…”

Make sure you emphasize ‘was’ by dragging it out and end it with joyous laughter.

Okay, so me and Gabbi have this joke where were describing if were hoes we would have no-strings attached sex with one of our friends.

I don’t want to ever think of myself as a hoe, I have too much self-respect for that. But I’m curious as to why these girls are flinging themselves at these guys…is the sex really that good? Are they trying out new tricks? What the hell is going on that is making these girls not give a damn about who they have meaningless sex with?

And this is the part where the joke starts to make sense. If I was a hoe, I sure would find the hell out. And I know it’s hard to be alone while you watch your friends go on dates and things of that nature, but you don’t want that for yourself? You just want him for the night and then have that awkward feeling next time you guys see each other? It’s not worth it in my opinion. I’ve seen how awkward a situation can get:

I’m talking to my friend.
His fuck buddy walks up.
She looks at me.
Looks back at him.
Walks away looking pissed.
Umm…awk-ward.

Yeah, I really don’t understand why just because he’s cute your willing to sacrifice your self-respect. Someone please explain this! It’s not like these are 30 year old divorced single mothers. These are barely 21 year old Howard University students. We have GOTS to do better.

Flex on the devil.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Flashing..Lights..Lights..Lights..

I woke up at 8:30 this morning and decided I need 15 more minutes. When I woke up for a second time the clock read 9:22…great. I rolled out of bed and prepared myself for this shower that was about to wake me up. I arrive back to my bed, that is yelling for me to get back in it, and ask myself okay what to wear? This is no biggie, because I haven’t worn my entire summer wardrobe and was waiting for more hot weather. Hmmm…shorts? But jean or linen? Hmmm…I love my BF shirt or that striped halter? Okay the halter…let’s do the Cali thing…red Chucks. I take down my pinned hair and forgot to spray perfume (dang it!) but nonetheless I’m ready!

As I’m walking to see if a shuttle is outside my dorm, I grab The Hilltop (official newspaper for Howard University). I looked at The Hilltop later on and discovered that the ENTIRE paper was dedicated to fashion. Wow. We have nothing better to do with our money? This was the thickest issue I had ever encountered. It had used the most color than any issue ever before, but I’m just guessing. Fashion though?

Fashion is becoming way too important to my generation. I believe that my generation would rather look “fly” than do things to help people. Fashion is destroying my generation. Everyone wants to dress like celebrities and have the same things, but for what? Status? You can’t be serious. You have a Louis bag and now what? Even if it was real there is always going to be that one who says its fake. You have those Louboutin pumps, I do like those red bottoms though, but what else? You’re spending your life away and don’t have a damn thing to show for it.

I always think of it in this light. Say you just bought those knee high Louboutin’s, real deal no knock-offs, and you spilled something on them that completely ruined the shoes. Are you mad because you just got those or because you have to save up more money to get a new pair or both? If you don’t have enough money to buy another pair of some expensive ass shoes then you shouldn’t worry about being fashionable. You should worry about how to accrue enough money to give you this lavish lifestyle you crave. Unless you fake it, til you make it (I‘m just sayin‘)

But this issue really got to me, because with all the information Howard University could have given us they chose fashion advice. Never mind the meetings for organizations around campus, information about what happened yesterday that we may have missed, or job opportunities that used to be in the back of the paper. No, we would much rather have tips on how to properly apply our fragrances. Thanks Howard! Because I was totally wearing my perfume on my ankles, now I know that it goes on my wrists. You have got to be freaking kidding me.

Oh Howard, I find myself saying this more than ever this year. Is that a sign or what? But, life is about choices, and if they choose to wear six inch heels on a school that was built on a plateau…by all means sweetie. But don’t bitch about your feet hurting when you finally make it to class. And if the guys want to spend $250 on jeans, please do you pimpin’. But I want to see these same people staying afloat after they’re parents stop supporting them.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Entrapment.

I thought about trapping him before. I thought maybe if we have a child together he would be in love with me instead of just love me as a friend. My dumb ass. Does that method ever really work? Children who are brought into the world this way will always be at a disadvantage. But I really considered it. I told myself “It would be okay, because my parents and my Granny and my friends -especially Kamille- would be there for me.” I picked out names. I mapped out a money plan. I was set. I was ready to have a baby with a man that I loved. I was ready to put my life on hold, just to have this man love me back.

I stepped back.

“Tiffaney think about why you went to college.”

“Do you even remember?”

Yeah, I remembered. And that is the only thing that stopped me. Not the fact that the love of my life didn’t love me, but the struggle. Many people don’t know my life struggles, and many people won’t. I didn’t always want to go to college. I wanted to go to the NAVY, my father was pissed. But that’s neither here nor there.

The point is, I was one of those girls I talk about. The ones who were beat over some nigga that didn’t love them. “How desperate?”. And love blinded me. It’s not an excuse for my stupidity, but any female that has been in love understands where I’m coming from.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

No one asked you…

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”

“

I was on my way to the yard today to sell a book to a fellow HU student when I saw my friend Courtney*. She big chopped over the summer and was wearing her TWA. I saw her, greeted her, and told her I liked her hair. Which was the truth. My friends saw her, greeted her, and kept it pushing. We got about 10 feet from Courtney and all of a sudden:

Friend #1: She looked better with long hair.

Friend #2: Yeah, she did.

Friend #1: I’m just saying, any hairstyle would have looked better than that one.

Me: Damn, I’m glad y’all didn’t say that in front of her. I’m also glad I didn’t cut my hair and show ya’ll.

Do you realize how hard it is for girls to wear their short natural hair and not care what others think? Speaking from experience I can say that before I found the confidence in myself, I would have rather worn an ugly weave than my TWA. Newly natural girls don’t want to hear that they would have looked better if they kept their damaged, over processes, breaking, thin hair.

Before I finally said to myself “Your opinions don’t matter.” “You’re going to talk about me anyway.” and “No one asked you, so shut the hell up” I was self-conscious.

Maybe I’m sympathetic because I understand what she went through, or even what she still might be going through. But it’s just sad, because on this campus if you aren’t natural you are the minority. It’s also sad, because the tables can be turned to easily. Oh trust and believe, no one is invincible and everyone has a weak spot.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Oh Howard..

*pic from freshman year*

My first day active on Howard’s campus was eye-opening, as usual. My day consisted of me waking up at 7:30 am, getting dressed, walking (as in not waiting for the shuttle) to the EAC to get my alternate pin number, walking to the back of that long line of other people waiting for the same thing, getting my pin number, registering for classes from my Samsung Moment (my cell phone), adding and dropping courses all day, soaking up too much Vitamin D (it was hot today), catching up with a few people, and coming back to my room to take a nap. All of that and I would not trade it for the world. I love my school. I love my focused peers. I love always having that one more thing to do. I love the yard at about 2 pm, everyone is always out there at 2pm. I love hearing the band practice. I love the outfits, no matter how “out there” they may seem. I love it all. I honestly couldn’t picture myself anywhere else, because anywhere else wouldn’t measure up. I don’t regret anything, and I damn sure wouldn’t trade it. Oh Howard, you have my heart.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Muffin.

Me and Gabbi..she has a blog =]

Wow. I just meandered on over to my friend Gabbi’s blog. The post was entitled Freshman Year Memories. “aint nobody tell yo ass to jump over the bed” -Muffin by P!NK <–that was me, when I was on blogspot, doesn't it seem like all the inexperienced bloggers start there?

I saw the name Muffin and thought "Damn..that seemed like a long time ago." If yall don't know about Muffin, don't feel bad. He has only been mentioned in one post on my blog. Muffin is my ex-boyfriend Asim. But damn, that brought back a time when I was so unwise. I didn’t really think before I acted, so mistakes weren’t a rare occurance.

Why did I lie to him? I wasn’t in love with him, but I said “i love you” everytime we got on or off the phone. He said it too, and I’m still not sure if he meant it or not. I feel so fucked up, I don’t even care if he meant it or not. It was me that I was lying to. Why though? He respected me enough to take things as slow as I wanted and I still was untrue. But what can you do? You live and you learn, besides I’m a women now.

Something light.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

Prima Ballerina

For ten years I danced. From age two to twelve I did ballet, tap, and jazz. I loved it, especially tap. But for the passed year I have found myself enraptured in ballet. Stretching, practicing my leaps, pirouettes, etc. I can still remember my father taking me to go see The Nutcracker and the heartbreak of us leaving early, because he thought it was boring. But I still remember how the ballerina twirled effortlessly through the props on stage. It was beautiful.

But I said all that to say that…I am minoring in dance. I’m nervous. What will my parents say? Am I even good enough? Am I too old? Is it pointless? What if they think I’m really good? Should I pursue this? I am aware that I don’t have the typical ballerina body, the torso atleast. My legs are strong ass hell and my arms are 90% stronger than I remember.

What will my parents say? They can’t say its pointless, because they paid for ten years of dance lessons. Maybe I could double minor. No. They won’t even consider me messing up my “important” classes for some dance classes. We’ll see where this goes.

xoxo TiffaneyDanielle

*I must really love all my readers, because I’m sharing personal thoughts more and more with each post*